About this time of year odd stories begin to appear in the news. Some are ridiculous, others are moral panics and some could be described as a storm in a tea cup (see below the post below). The reason for this, some people claim, is that the silly season has started.

The silly season is a period of time which runs from around the middle of summer throughout August and September. The reason for this period is that with parliament suspended and with a lack of political news appearing, newspapers have to find new stories to keep people interested and to keep selling copies.

These stories can be trivial or serious. Often a murder story will grip the nation – like the case of Sarah Payne, but other examples are much lighter. You can click here to find some examples of amusing stories from the British silly season.

A very English idiom

A storm in a tea cup is a fantastic English expression that you would do well to add to your vocabulary. If an English speaker describes a situation as a ‘storm in a tea cup’, it suggests that they think that a particular problem has become very much exaggerated over a short space of time.

Imagine if a rumour spreads around an office causing everyone to become worried and anxious. If the rumour if nothing of real importance, and its significance has been exaggerated, people can say refer to it as ‘a storm in a tea cup.’

People who have spent time in England, will realise that this is a particularly English phrase, due to the use of one of England’s most important cultural symbols: tea. Other idioms that use the word tea are very commonplace in the English language and they expression, ‘It’s not my cup of tea,’ (I don’t like it very much) is a very popular one.

A good example of a recent ‘storm in a tea cup,’ could be the speculation which surrounds David Milliband, the British Foreign Secretary, at the moment. Milliband wrote an article in the Guardian that was perceived by many to be an attack on the British Prime Minister Gordon Brown. In his article he talked about the future of New Labour, Brown’s political party, without mentioning the current Prime Minister once.

Here is a round up of what some of the newspapers are saying in the United Kingdom today (thanks to the BBC). Is this a storm in a tea cup?

It is the main story for the Independent and the Telegraph, which has the headline “Labour at war”.

The article published on Wednesday, says the Independent, has set off a tornado of political speculation. It claims the foreign secretary has “started the race for No 10″, and asks if he has the smile of an assassin.

The Times says David Miliband decided to rally Labour after a below-par speech by Mr Brown last Friday.

According to the Telegraph’s sources the foreign secretary might be demoted as payment for triggering the gravest crisis of Mr Brown’s premiership.

The Daily Mail says he knew the article would be seen as a tentative leadership bid.

However the Mirror says it has been told the PM is considering making Mr Miliband Chancellor in September, to fend off an early leadership challenge.

Confusing words

One of the big difficulties for learners of English is to fully and properly understand the difference between the words ‘affect’ and ‘effect’.

The problem stems from the simple fact that the two words sound very close together and therefore cause both learners and speakers of English with an easy opportunity to make a mistake. The best way to remember the difference is to remember that usually affect is a verb and effect is a noun.

When you affect something – you change it or influence it. Whereas when you are talking about an effect – you are talking about making something happen.

Here are some practical examples:

Ronaldo’s ability to play football has been affected by speculation about his transfer to Real Madrid.
The Picasso painting was affected by the strong light that came in through the window.
We have to effect some changes in the office.
The effect that the new boss has had upon his team is quite impressive!

Here is a White Stripes song for you to try and make sense of, called Effect and Cause

The name game

Are you wondering what people like to call their children in the United Kingdom? Well, it seems that many of the Biblical names are still very popular in a recently published list of the most popular children’s names.

Here for your interest is a quick list of the top ten most popular male and female names in the English language:

Males:

Jack, Thomas, Oliver, Joshua, Harry, Charlie, Daniel, William, James,Alfie.

Females:

Grace, Ruby, Olivia, Emily, Jessica, Sophie, Chloe, Lily, Ella, Amelia

Tuneful phonetics

Onomatopoeia is a very excitable long word. It is used to describe a word which imitates the sounds that he is describing. Using these types of words adds colour to your language and gives it a stronger power of description – drawing the listener into a conversation or a piece of writing.

The word onomatopoeia stems from the Greek language and it roughly means ‘name creation’, and this describes onomatopoeia well, and the use of the word ‘creation’ shows its importance at the root of many languages – helping people describe the sounds that they hear.

Boom! Bang! Crash! - these are all examples of onomatopoeia in English. You can also think of the names given to the sounds produced by animals:

Dog: Woof!
Cat: Meow!
Cow: Moo!
Sheep: Baa!

Also look at the Batman comics and Spike Milligan’s poem In the Ning Nang (featured earlier this month) for a number of different examples of onomatopoeia.

Here are some other great examples of onomatopoeia that you can try to slip into your spoken or written English:

Click, clunk, buzz, oink, slurp, cock a doodle doo, achoo!

And here is a little music video that employs the same technique:

The differences between the British and the American accents when speaking English have been documented in a recent article featured on the BBC website. Here you can see some interesting attempts at imitating these differing accents – and you can learn a little more about how the differing sounds are produced.

If you are more accustomed to British or American English, it is a very good idea to expose yourself to something different. Remember that in a social situation you are likely to meet English speakers with a range of different accents; it is a good idea to be used to more than one form of speaking.

Here you can find the BBC article.

The online dictionary defines the word Pun as:

The humorous use of a word or phrase so as to emphasize or suggest its different meanings or applications, or the use of words that are alike or nearly alike in sound but different in meaning; a play on words.

Puns play an essential part in humour as practiced in the British language. One of the foremost practitioners of puns in the comedian Tim Vine, who specialises in taking a common word or phrases and twisting its meaning slightly. By learning some of these puns, you will be learning the music to which the English language works. Remember that all of the following puns are intended to be read aloud, therefore you can use them for pronunciation practice too:

Tim Vine puns:

• Now, most dentist’s chairs go up and down, don’t they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought, “This is unusual”. Then the dentist said to me, “Mr Vine, get out of the filing cabinet”.
• I was reading this book, ‘The History of Glue’. I couldn’t put it down.
• I got a job as the Duke of Edinburgh’s hairdresser. The other day I parked outside Buckingham Palace and a policeman came up to me and said “have you got a permit?” And I said, “no, I’ve just got to take a bit off the back”.
• The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn’t know what to make of it.
• Exit signs. They’re on the way out, aren’t they?
• When I was at school people used to throw gold bars at me. I was the victim of bullion.
• So I went to the doctor and he said, “You’ve got hypochondria.” I said, “Not that as well!” (Tim Vine live DVD).
• Velcro, what a rip-off…
• I was playing the piano in a bar and this elephant walked in and started crying his heart out. I said “Do you recognise the tune?” He said “No, I recognise the ivory”
• I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. I thought - he’s trying to pull a fast one
• You invented Tippex… Correct me if I’m wrong
• Did you know all male tennis players are witches? For example Goran.. Even-he’s-a-witch
• I was in Tescos, and saw this man and woman wrapped in a bar code. I said “Are you two an item?”
• A lorryload of tortoises crashed into a train full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster.
• I’ve got a friend who’s fallen in love with two school bags, he’s bisatchel
• I’ll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.
• Did you know if a stick insect lays it’s eggs in a jar of Bovril it will give birth to a litter of twiglets?
• I went into a shop and said, “Can someone sell me a kettle.” The bloke said “Kenwood” I said, “Ok, where is he?”
• So I went in to a pet shop. I said, “Can I buy a goldfish?” The guy said, “Do you want an aquarium?” I said, “I don’t care what star sign it is.”
• So I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said “Tenpin?” I said, “No, it’s a permanent job.”
• Black beauty, he was a dark horse
• So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, “Nearest the bull goes first” He went “Baah” and I went “Moo” He said “You’re closest”
• I used to live in a teapot. I know what you’re thinking ‘Pour You’
• Advent Calenders, Their days are numbered.

And here is a little video for you to enjoy!

Across the northern hemisphere, we are in the throes of summer and as a result people seem to be much happier in the office. Some people like to maintain that the sun keeps them happy and there is certainly a good deal of evidence to support this theory.

Here is how the word ‘sun’ is defined in the online dictionary:

The Sun

The star that is the central body of the solar system, around which the planets revolve and from which they receive light and heat: its mean distance from the earth is about 93 million miles (150 million km), its diameter about 864,000 miles (1.4 million km), and its mass about 330,000 times that of the earth; its period of surface rotation is about 26 days at its equator but longer at higher latitudes.

And here are some of it’s advantages

The sun is our main source of vitamin D

It helps mend wounds (in a process called heliotherapy)

It helps people grow stronger bones and teeth

It can reduce blood pressure and lower cholesterol

Sunlight can help protect from cancers (women living in less sunny regions of the world are 40% more likely to develop breast cancer)

Sunlight can also trigger the release of serotonin (the body’s happy chemical), making us more cheerful, giving us better sleep and increasing our sex drives.

So in celebration of summer, I think that it is more than apt to put some songs here that have that ‘warm summer feel.’

I’m into Something Good - Herman’s Hermits

I Get Around - The Beach Boys

Mondays can be very tiring and as I consequence I have decided upon the word soporific as our word of the day. Yawning and stretching are two signs that a person is tired all around the world, there can be various reasons for this: a person could be consumed in a boring activity, they could not have slept enough recently or they might have been working constantly for a long time.

I am going to think about the first scenario mentioned. Imagine that you are doing a very boring job – you could describe this job using the word soporific.

Here is how the word soporific is defined in the online dictionary:

sop•o•rif•ic :
adj.

1. Inducing or tending to induce sleep.
2. Drowsy.

Here are some examples of how the word can be used:

I was so bored by the cricket, it was soporific.
My job is so boring! It is almost soporific.
The sermon went on for almost an hour in length, my mother had to awaken me from my soporific slumber.

Can you think of some tasks that you have to do on a weekly basis that are soporific?!

Britain’s favourite poem

Here is the second instalment in my little section on nonsense poetry. Hopefully some of you will have tried to memorise the immortal words of Edward Lear, whose Old and the Pussycat is an English classic and well known across the land.

This second nonsense poem was voted by the British population as their most favourite poem ever. It is written by the humourist, raconteur and radio comedian Spike Milligan, who became one of the most popular post-war British entertainers.

This poem was written in the 1960s and is fully in line with the liberal, psychedelic feel of the time created by bands such as the Beatles and Jimi Hendrix. The poem has no sense, so don’t try to analyse its content, but it is a good way to practice your pronunciation and to see how English intonation works. Good luck learning On the Ning Nang Nong!

On the Ning Nang Nong


On the Ning Nang Nong
Where the Cows go Bong!
and the monkeys all say BOO!

There’s a Nong Nang Ning
Where the trees go Ping!
And the tea pots jibber jabber joo.

On the Nong Ning Nang
All the mice go Clang
And you just can’t catch ‘em when they do!

So its Ning Nang Nong
Cows go Bong!
Nong Nang Ning
Trees go ping
Nong Ning Nang
The mice go Clang
What a noisy place to belong
is the Ning Nang Ning Nang Nong!!

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